Thursday 30 June 2011

Show Up without Showing Off



Woody Allen was wrong.

His famous one-liner was, “80% of life is showing up.”

Wrong. Showing up isn’t enough.

Think about it: How many times have YOU showed up … and sucked?

HERE’S THE REALITY: That you show up isn’t nearly as important as how you show up.

People respond to the sum total of what you present to them. Either positively, negatively, or not at all. It all depends on how you show up.

The problem is, people often shrink from showing UP because they’re terrified of being accused of showing OFF.

This doesn’t have to be the case. You can still show up strongly without showing off annoyingly.

Let’s explore seven strategies for doing so:

1. Stop proving yourself and start expressing yourself. This is a hard and humbling shift to make in your behavior. Took me about five years. And looking back, I now realize there are a few steps that can be taken by anyone to do so:

FIRST: Stop proclaiming and start displaying. Create avenues for others to experience your unique talents.

SECOND: Stop demanding your rights and start deploying your gifts. An attitude of entitlement doesn’t look good on anyone.

THIRD: Stop trying to be somebody. Befriend who you already are. It’s a lot less work.

Ultimately, these practices will enable you to inspire people from the inside, as opposed to advising them from the outside. Remember: The less you have to prove, the less other people will feel threatened around you.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. What does your presence awaken in people?

2. Forego the fear of being found out. If you’re at war with yourself, you will not show up well. And the body count will double every time you walk into a room. Instead, your mission is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance. To occupy your vulnerability and make friends with all aspects of yourself – even the ones that make you cringe.

That’s what I’ve discovered after 3,278 consecutive days of wearing a nametag: When you relax and assume everything is perfect, you begin to feel rightness and complete appropriateness in who you are. And so do the people you meet.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. Are you AT war with yourself or IN love with yourself?

3. Assemble initiative, not inertia. That means being willing to be heard. That means being twice as proactive in everything you do. And that means being diligent in putting yourself in the success moment, and doing so with deadening regularity.

The enemy of initiative, on the other hand, is being paralyzed by your own mistakes. Being distracted by your own nonsense. And becoming a prisoner of yesterday’s errors. Be careful. Inertia is the slaughterer of success. Only movement counts.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. Are you a cause or an effect?

4. Learn to become a part of every place you enter. In the fantastic book, Honoring, I learned: “Come soft and bright as a sponge to be filled, unresisting; and allow nothing to weigh too much within your soul.”

That’s definition of vulnerability. That’s the epitome of openness. And if you practice this, and you will be welcomed everywhere you go. You will feel at home wherever you go.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. When you walk into a room, how does it change?

5. Learn to become someone when you’re alone. That way, should you find yourself suddenly kicked to the curb (by your job, friends, spouse, partner, whatever), you can still prosper. As long as you listen deeply TO yourself, stay in constant rapport WITH yourself and heed what you hear FROM yourself.

That’s why I love yoga. It’s rock-solid practice trusting your support system of inner resources. Plus, you learn to “take your practice off the mat,” which is the process of transporting what you learned from one discipline into various other life containers.

As Emerson wrote in Self-Reliance, “The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” And ultimately, becoming someone when you’re alone makes it easier to show up AS someone when you’re not.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. How often do you hold daily appointments with yourself?

6. Build a better you. Mousetraps are overrated. YOU are the only product that ever matters. After all, people buy people first. My suggestion is that you rededicate yourself as an instrument, recenter yourself in your commitment and recreate situations where your gifts can flourish.

That’s how you become the person you most admire. By creating a vision of how you would like yourself to be, “trying on” that vision until it fits like a glove, and then making sure lots of key people are watching you wear it.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. In what area(s) of your life are you most motivated to improve?

7. Don’t just DO differently – BE differently. Here’s how: First, choose to approach the world as one giant banquet. Second, regard every moment as a new, positive opportunity to exercise your choice about how to experience life. And third, live like it’s nobody’s business.

That’s what it takes to BE (not just DO) differently. Sadly, most people aren’t ready for different. They get scared when they meet different. And you have to learn to be OK with that. You have to learn to soar in spite of that. So, remember what my Grandpa says, “Do the best you can with as many as you can.”

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. Do you have the courage to be unpopular?

REMEMBER: That you show up is eclipsed by the importance of HOW you show up.

Don’t shrink from doing so for fear of being accused of showing off.

Sculpt yourself into the person you want to present to others.

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Thursday 23 June 2011

Few Things We've Learned from the Hollywood Movies


1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

3) The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

4) When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

5) Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

6) Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

7) A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.

8) It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

9) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

10) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

11) Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

12) An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

13) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

14) It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German you need not speak the language. A German accent will do.

16) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

17) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

18) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

19) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

20) If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade- at any time of the year.

21) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

22) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.



23) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

24) Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

25) Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

26) If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

27) Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

28) Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

29) All single women have a cat.

30) Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

31) One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

32) Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

33) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

34) Dogs always know who is bad and will naturally bark at them

35) When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

36) Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

37) Whenever a natural or man-made disaster is about to occur, the hero escapes (alive) nano second before its too late and is catapulted into the air by the force- but is never harmed

38) No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

39) If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

40) You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.

41) All Americans have phones which can reach throughout the house-even if it has a cord. If its cordless- you can pick up perfect reception all around the house...unless there is an insane killer about

42) all bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

43) Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

44) Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

45) Building ventilation ducts are always clean.

46) Film stars are always super-human- they never need to use the bathroom

47) any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure government system.

48) Any aliens from outer space that you meet will speak your language.

49) No matter how many times you punch someone they will always come back for more - and their wounds have healed dramatically the next day

50) All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

51) All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.

52) Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.

53) If you need to open a locked door make sure you have a credit card handy, that will do. Unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

54) If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

55) If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

56) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

57) No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

58) When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

59) Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

60) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

61) Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

62) Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

63) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

64) Even if you've been set up for murder, been framed and you have the whole world wide police force hunting you down, you will automatically live happily ever after as long as you break away from the police and kill the bad guy.

65) If you desire to send any car into flame for any given reason, just shoot it three times, even though in real life you could stand right in front of a vehicle and shoot the gun into the gas tank, it wouldn’t ignite the fuel, only 1 or 2 bullets in the world can cause a spark, and it seems every police man in movies who blow up vehicles have those bullets!

66) Any woman who has just witnessed her father, (brother, husband, family member etc.) killed right there in front of her, will never be traumatised, mourn, or be effected in anyway to resist making love to the hero who saved her!

68) Why when the hero of the movie gets the girl at the end, it seems like they will live happily ever after, yet doesn’t even mention her name or remember her in sequels!

69) You never need to look up the phone number for the pizza delivery service and the delivery guy is always psychic -you never need to tell him where you live or what you want on your pizza.

70) After witnessing a horrible crime being committed- don't call the cops, instead conduct your own Private Eye investigation.

71) If a lifetime of watching movies has taught me anything at all, it's to MAKE SURE that a captured secret agent is dead BEFORE you walk away from your miscellaneous torture device.

72) That, and to always look behind you when you hear menacing violin music begin to play.

73) In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.

74) Rather than wasting bullets, Megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

75) Never disarm a bomb unless it has one second left on the timer. The same goes for escaping from areas with a timed locking mechanism.

76) Always trust the most annoying person you can find because he/she will always survive.

77) If you are being chased by zombies run as fast as you can, even though they can barely walk they will still catch up with you.

78) Secret agents cannot drown because they have special lungs that allow them to breathe forever.

79) If someone you love dies then start mourning and crying, doing so will mean that they will then magically appear in front of you!

80) If someone or something is about to kill you and you have a gun then you are screwed because even if you have a loaded gun, the bullets will mysteriously disappear once you start shooting.

81) If you are in a vehicle and you have a vision of a huge accident and then get out of it then beware, because afterwards, any random object could kill you in any random way. (From Final Destination)

82) If your wife is having an affair, never kill the person she is having it with, you may have to eat him the next day. (From The Cook, The Wife, The Thief and Her Lover)

83) No matter what your mission is you will be given the latest gadget (or have it installed in your car), which will be the exact thing you need to complete your mission (and it will always work). Also no matter how much experience and training someone has shooting, they will always miss the hero.

84) No matter how fast someone runs through the woods, the killer will be able to walk and manage to get just in front of the person as they fall or turn around.

85) All of the killers’ victims will fall out of trees and become visible only when the last person alive is running for their lives.

86) Being a camp counsellor at a summer camp is as good as a death sentence

87) All zombies roaming the streets have only been bit once or twice, yet when a zombie gets someone on screen they always tear them to pieces

88) Two gophers and a piece of clothes can be made into the deadly weapon known as gopfer-jakus

Source: http://www.area51newmexico.com/page5.php

Wednesday 22 June 2011

I am what I am


I am what I am, I can't help myself
And if you don't like it get with somebody else
I'll never change my ways, it's not a phase
This is how it is and this is how it's gonna stay

Because I am what I am, I know what I'm not
I'm not the type of guy that doesn't know how good he's got it
And I won't back down, won't come around
Saying that I changed cause that's not how it's going down

Cause I know (I know, I know)
Wherever I go (I go, I go)
I know where I stand
I am what I am
Hey! Hey!
I am what I am
Hey! Hey!

I am what I am, what can I say?
I'm gonna be this way right up until my dying day
Because that's how it goes head to my toes
And if it doesn't show well I just had to let you know

Because I am what I am and nobody else
And if you've got a problem better take it somewhere else
Because I can't turn back, I'm right on track
And if you think you know well then you better check your facts

Cause I know (I know, I know)
Wherever I go (I go, I go)
I know where I stand
I am what I am

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-am-what-i-am-lyrics-jonas-brothers.html ]

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Let me ask myself, am I blemishless?



“You are observing a fast to protest against corruption and to support Anna Hazare but why don't you take a pledge to pay your taxes honestly? Why do you submit fake rent receipts and agreements to get tax deductions and why do you claim medical reimbursements by submitting fake medical bills,” I asked my friend.

He was confused for a moment, not sure whether his fast was for the holy month of Navratra or for his support against corruption; nevertheless, he sees every other person in this world that he deals with as corrupt. He does not think, on the other hand, that his own dubious actions are a corrupt practice. Why? Because everyone else does the same thing, and because he thinks it is the government's fault to have given us loopholes in tax issues so that people act in a corrupt manner. After whetting his appetite on a day of fast with loads of salad and dry fruits, he came up with a fairly concise answer, “If the government wants to stop corruption in tax matters, it should propose a flat tax law.”

When I think of corrupt practices, it's not just politicians that come to my mind but every ordinary citizen that I deal with. Corruption is not so much a political phenomenon as it is a psychological issue. If it takes 30 days to process a passport application in India, there is always a segment of restless people who want it to be done in 10 days. Whether the person doing the passport verification work asks for a bribe or not, there is always a section of people who volunteers to pay “extra” to expedite the process. Before we realise, what looks like an isolated action becomes a practice. When victimised, the beneficiary suddenly starts to shout hoarse about corruption and the thorns of seeds he planted start to prick his own skin.

We, the citizens of India, in our constant endeavour to garner out-of-the-box favours are ready to pay extra to get things done. Whether it is a passport inquiry or an electricity connection, we act as restless fools, not realising that we are jeopardising our own future.

When it comes to choosing patience to procedure, we falter. When we are forced to stand in a queue to pay the electricity bill, we succumb to our own restlessness to find a short-cut. A million citizens may be willing to sit in Hazare's rally to protest against corruption; but when it comes to their own backyard, they are happy to hide the mess instead of confronting it upfront. How many laws do we need to end our misery? Is there a dearth of laws to punish someone for a corrupt practice? Do we lack the constitutional potency to punish the guilty?

No, we don't. There are two things we are lacking in; law enforcement and the psychological strength discussed above. Once we get the psychological strength, law enforcement will take care of itself. Why? Because, those who enforce laws are normal human beings.

If we learn to follow procedures and stop buttering officials, they will realise one day that they need to earn their own bread. Who's going to get bribed when there is no one to give bribe? If we start to change ourselves instead of mustering effort to change the world, corruption can be easily taken care of. Just ask yourself, who is corrupt here, am I corrupt? Is he corrupt? Are they corrupt? If we take care of the “am I corrupt” part, the “is he” or “are they” parts will take care of themselves. Who is going to bell the cat?

Courtesy: The Hindu
http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/article2038320.ece

By Rohit Gupta

(The writer's email is rohitgupta14@hotmail.com)